The coffee pot overflows
I tried to stay awake
I'm sorry I couldn't
I waited longer that I should've
It's a shame
You won't even
Wake up
I should spill it on you
....the coffee
Show you
What it's like to be burned
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Sprays of blood on the walls
Pools condensing on the ground
I am here
Scenes of undertaken carnage
I am desolate
Cornered
Crimson prison
In a ten by ten
Take me away
Visions etched
Behind shut eyes
Collar me
Rouged stains
Engraved upon souls
Throw me in
With those white walls
Label me insane
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
She was a luminous royal blue
That shimmered incessantly
A contained delicate pattern
Worked into the glass
A meticulous chore completed
Perfection
Rested above a polished surface
The finest
She held a captive
Creatures
Of a charming bloom
That cast their imprisoned scent
Across an entire floor
She had been
Exquisite…
And now she sits
Still upon her resting place
No longer varnished to crown
She is worn
After a lifetime of promises
Chipped at the edges
And wilted within
She gathers dust
One day she will shatter
Dropped and broken
Tested and failed
Her vacancy will collapse
All upon itself
An internal combusti
Paper cuts from poetry
My heart poured onto record
Bleeding at your service
And these blood stained pages
Are who I have become
Lacerations of my love
History re-surfaces
Like the narrows of an hourglass
Inevitably leading
Intimately within
My barren psyche
Where who I was and who I am
Are both a constant
And both an indifference
Pressed between the pages
A profound existence
That doesn't really exist
I have submitted myself to you
Like a madman submits to lunacy
Gradually
It remained stifled
Biding it's time before breaking free
Subsequently I was shattered
You shattered me
Took the heart you were given
Threw it back in my face
But not before raping and ravaging me
You raped my dignity
Tore it away from me
Unwillingly
Nothing but questions linger of you
Did you pack away the answers
Inside your boxes when you left?
Left me
Empty
On the edge...
Begging for your help
Ignoring my bloodstained pleas
You throw me off the cliff of my own sanity
I await rock bottom
The jagged terrain of my mind
Will shred and claw at me
Dismember me
What once existed will be consumed
And all will be black…
I'd rather feel nothing at all
Rather than the wound in my back
It's the knife you left there…
Planted firmly… squarely between shattered shoulder blades
A bittersweet parting gift
I await the solace … that never arrives
Instead…
I remain forever... falling
Trapped...
Within a private... eternal… descent...
Searching my reflection
My image fragmented and unrecognizable
I'm fed up, and I'm exhausted
A long led charade.. finally gotten old
I find it impossible to break my stare
So I break the mirror
And feel the satisfaction as it shatters
The blood on my hands...
Isn't even my own
No longer will I glare
Into my own depthless eyes
Trying to peer inside myself
And get a glimpse of the soul
That's not even there anymore
In a daze I examine the broken shards
Combing through the shreds and slivers
Trying to find myself
I need to get rid of you
I'm infected
Like slow acting poison
Triggered by thoughts of you
Slitting my wrists
And scratching my skin
To a bloody pulp
Just to forget about u
I'm tearing at myself
Trying to get to my heart
So I can piece it back together
I caught a butterfly
It fought for freedom
I held on
Kept it
My prisoner
Behind the glass
I exploited it
I used it
Drained away the beauty
Allowing the soft
Withered self
To show through
I stole life from it
I did it all
Cruely, maliciously
Holding on tight
Even when it wanted out
As you did to my love
I felt attached
Bound to you
You were always there
The breath on my neck
Trying to escape
For so long a time
I had to break loose
The only way out
Now that I have
I wonder the worth
Do I miss you?
Do I have control?
Only you\'re distant
But forever
I\'m trapped
A puppet on strings
Played with by you
To your every whim
I\'m always there
Used by you
One day I will
I will get away
And that day
I\'ll breathe
The moon glistens
across the watery depths
The stars sparkle
scattered amongst the dark sheet of sky
And here I stand
overwhelmed by my troubles
Without the realization
that I am.. universally.. insignificant
You stifle me
Pin me down
I\'m your toy
Your victim
Pure entertainment
I\'m past the crying
A numb feeling
Resistant to the world
Hidden within
Sheltered
But I\'m not dying
Just when you pull me in
You\'ll push me further out
Where do I stand?
You hurt me..
Just when you whisper secrets
You\'ll yell back lies
What do I believe?
You hurt me..
Just when you pour out your heart
You\'ll put a stopper in your soul
What do I feel?
You hurt me..
Over and over again
Each time the same
Confusion clutters the mind
And inside I die
You\'re bound to..
Last time
And the time before that
Will I ever learn my lesson?
I keep coming right back
Can\'t stop it..
Can\'t help it
You\'re my addiction
and I\'m yours
We\'d lose our minds
You need to..
And I let you hurt me again..
What am I hiding?
Voices scream \'I love you\'
Inside my head
I can\'t tell you
You\'re the only one
Who can\'t know
You\'re blind
Immune even
This secret
Tearing me apart
Invertly, Slowly
Ripping out my insides
Arranging them
A grotesque display
Just for you
If only they were open
Those pretty blue eyes
You\'d see
What they see
But they\'re closed
The way you like them
You don\'t face it
Neither do I
My reply is \'Nothing\'
I don\'t hide from you
I hide from myself
I won\'t love you today
Not until a later date
Completely in sync
Pressed up together
Hearts beat in time
Staggered breath
Skin upon skin
Hot flesh burning
Trickles of sweat
Between the sheets
We lie together
A steady rhythem
The passion
The need
The urge
You
Here
Now
Remember
That feeling
That night
No guilt
No shame
Lost in each other
Wherever you touched me
Your fingers skimmed over
My skin
Lingering sensation
It\'s still there
I still feel you
I crave you
As if you\'re still lying there
Next to me
Up against me
Your place with me
Where you were
Just last night
I crave you
Empty without you
Deprived of you
As a morning without coffee
Outside of routine
Living off memory
Until next time
I crave you
I\'m always there
Looking at you
But you look on
Not noticing
Not acknowledging
I\'m silently screaming
Suddenly small
Lonliness drowning
I\'m not even there
I\'m invisible
finally.
the moment has arrived.
bathed in waters, perfect harmony,
timeless progressions
without a question.
free and alive.
pushing further on the lens
blending with the carpet of forever
undenying this faithful friend of mine
find the time, the power
together.
to the end.
glancing back behind the sullen clouds
pleasantly surprised to tear apart the pain,
to shed the piercing troubles of the hour,
to exhume these ancient artifacts.
a massive celebration on the five.
reach for this free fantasia.
opening a teary eye.
reach for my
modern phrases.
reach for my
doubtless days.
i hope to take you with me
on the strength i
Paper cuts from poetry
My heart poured onto record
Bleeding at your service
And these blood stained pages
Are who I have become
Lacerations of my love
History re-surfaces
Like the narrows of an hourglass
Inevitably leading
Intimately within
My barren psyche
Where who I was and who I am
Are both a constant
And both an indifference
Pressed between the pages
A profound existence
That doesn't really exist